4 AM

It must be the bitter cold or just having to wake up freakishly early that makes you appreciate your life and your wealth. This will be my second time waking up for Breakfast Brigade. Gainesville Catholic Worker House has been serving breakfast to the labor unions in this city for decades. I arrived at the house to prepare the meal at 4:15 am. In no time, I was kneading bread and boiling eggs. There are three stops that we serve, so there are three baskets of cinnamon bread, three baskets of boiled eggs, and three baskets of oranges. The idea is to show these people dignity, beyond what the world has shown them. There is always a tablecloth covering the table adorned with flowers and a candle, lit, to make sure that these men know we think they deserve the best. We were finished baking and boiling and ready to serve by 5:30 am. I actually was asked to drive to the first stop with three boys I had just met, and Kevin. Like I said, it was frigid outside. Something that looked close enough to snow was coating our vehicles. Everything inside me wanted to have stayed in my warm bed, when the alarm went off this morning at 3:30 am. But God had planned otherwise.

I had gone for the first time to Breakfast Brigade two weeks ago. I was chatting with a friend, Lawrence, at CRU, and he randomly asked me what I was doing at 4 am the next morning. My natural response was "sleeping;" what any other person in their right mind would be doing at 4 in the morning on a Friday. But I guess "right mindedness" is subjective. He invited me to come, and I oblidged, knowing I wouldn't get to bed until 2 am and later chaperone a lock-in at Family Church. My mind was somewhere else that morning. I prayed for God to give me opportunity, but what little opportunity I was given drowned in the incessant voice in my head reminding me of how tired I was, and how much stuff I had to do later that day. I was almost disappointed. There were so many people there to help serve, it was hard to find anything to do sometimes. All I had done was serve food. I didn't learn a name... I didn't make a difference. Of course, this is an unfair statement, but I will get to that later.

Today was different. I woke up knowing my mission, and not thinking about my day. I was living for the now. As we walked through the doorway at the Catholic Worker House to begin preparations, everyone rejoiced, and I realized, they were short-handed. Already, God was out to prove something to me. Like I said earlier, I was even able to drive to one of the locations!! Not only did I feel needed for once, but I met two guys at our labor pool, Jerell and Curtis. We talked about the weather, about their hometowns, about their grandchildren, about their lives... I had given the morning to God, and He had given me a bit-o-heaven. I hope that in ten minutes of conversation, they felt something special. Something better. Love, in its purest form, straight from the hand of God.

I've learned that you can't give God parameters. Expectations are only going to destroy your vision. Usually I go into service projects expecting to be disappointed and come out completely humbled. On my first venture to Breakfast Brigade, I left discouraged, but not because God did reveal Himself, but because I refused to let Him roam outside of my expectations. This time I released God from the box that I firmly placed Him in and allowed Him to fill my voids. Pray in earnest... don't waste God's time. "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." -Mark 11:24

Listen for that still small voice, behind all the clutter, behind all the agendas, and behind all of the life. It's trying to break through when you need it the most. Count on it to be there, and don't be surprised when you finally hear it... because it has always been there.

Become void of all expectations, and God will become boundless in you.

.kristen.