GO big or GO home.

Lately, I have just been thinking. I know, strange right? Who just sits around and thinks? I have been thinking about my future, thinking about tomorrow, thinking about life!! As a senior in college, you have to think of these things, or at least postpone your graduation one more year so you don't have to think of these things. I just never thought that I would be at a point in my life where I am looking at so many people and places and potential, but still nothing seems to be answering my questions. Where? When? How? Just a little hint, por favor!! Nevertheless, I know whatever God has planned for me is something big... I just wish I knew what it was.

I am soooooo ready for Mexico!! Yikes! I was actually just looking at my friend Caroline's blogspot and realized how much I want to be there right now. I miss mis ninos! I guess my problem is that I wish I was somewhere else doing something else, instead I should be focusing on where I am and what I'm doing now. I also wish I was back at Spanish Fort. I feel like I have left a piece of my heart there, and no matter how hard I try to volunteer and love on kids at Family Church, I am still just empty.

Life was so easy when I didn't have to make decisions. My heart is in so many places right now, but I feel as though God will reveal something very soon. Or at least I am praying HARD that God will do so. I've realized life is less lived when we live for the past or future. In fact, we are not living at all if we choose to remove ourselves from our present state. We are thinking... not living. So we are back at this concept of thinking. Live for today, for this second, for this moment. Stop thinking... the farthest distance between us and God is 18 inches: the distance between the heart and the mind.

Last week, to this day, I was able to escape to the beach: the only place I feel like I can truly escape... other than on top of a mountain I guess (because we have a lot of those around). The waves crashing, leaving a beautiful reflection of the sun behind. People laying and napping in the beaming sunlight, seemingly without a care in the world. I love that feeling, when you look at something so marvelous and unique, like the powerful ocean, and you lose track of who you are and what you need to do. It's all about that moment... that place... that wave. I love surfing, too. I think that I would die if I didn't get a decent ride in at least once a month. Surfing is obviously not the equivalent to laying on the beach, but once again, that moment when your arms are dying, but you are paddling out ahead of a wave, finally you feel the board catch, and you drop in to the mercy of the wave. Ahhhh... that is the epitome of living. We paddle and paddle waiting on the perfect wave, and when it comes we just tag along for the ride. My perfect wave has yet to come, but I just need to make sure not to waste my time and energy on the waves that never amount to anything.

Oh, life.

"I see you there hanging on a tree,
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me.
Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne,
Soon we will be coming home... You're beautiful."
-Phil Wickham

Love,
k10