South Africa - Departure

Pain is a humbling experience. As my back screams of accidents days ago, I can do nothing but whimper. So helpless to hurt's mighty reign: I pretend that everything is ok. Is this the state God wanted to send me to South Africa? Or have I given in to selfish desires & doomed myself? Africa needed all of me, & now I can only give a smaller portion that's not writhing in pain or blinded by it. My pain has become my distraction.

Maybe I needed a reminder of how human I am - spiritually & physically. Our bodies are weaker than our spirits, & I'm surely feeling that. So positive spin: in my weakness, He is made strong. So theoretically He could completely control my every move, thought, deed... that's if I give Him control. I envision myself fighting with God like a passenger might fight with a pilot to fly a plane. I have no idea how to fly, but I want to man the controls.

Wow, I am on my way to South Africa... A distant thought in my head years ago has finally become a remarkable reality. And what a blessing it is to be surrounded by my best friends all the while. My Revive family. Who ever really gets to do that?! The hum of the engines keeps me from believing that this is all a dream. 37,000 feet in the air, you can do nothing but reflect on how life has led you down this path. Well, how God has led me down this path. I think the sum of my feelings is a little bit of fear, a little bit of excitement & a lot of disbelief. You almost have to convince yourself that this is happening. God is a brilliant story-teller. Thank God, His steady hand has a firm grip on what is to come next.

Give me grace, give me hope, give me love. I am insufficient, but God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called. Just yesterday I saw God's mighty face etched into the side of a snowy mountain. A beautiful & marvelous sight to be seen. Now as I glance out of this plane window, I see His mastery displayed in an ambient solemn layer of clouds. Peace is the only word that come to mind.

Pain is but a fleeting moment within an eternity of love & peace. Humility is a key to opening the door. He stands & knocks. Will I answer? Can I answer? Well, I don't think any of us ever "could." We aren't capable, but Christ is. So, can I? Yes, given that Christ overcomes me; lives through me; lives in me. We are but clay in the Potter's hands. Original masterpieces, fired to strengthen & purify.

God give me strength to endure & a heart to serve: in a world that needs a Savior.

Psalm 46:10

-Kristen

heart.

So I was thinking about the message for this Sunday at youth. We started a little series called Generation Revolution. Basically, it's some ideas pulled together, because over the years there are things I have realized that are completely necessary to understand in order to live your life like you want to in Christ. Last week we talked about attitude... the mind, and how to revolutionize it to be one with God. This week we are going to talk about heart...

When talking about your mind, you aren't necessarily talking about the organ that is your brain. We are talking about thought-processes and decision-making. So then, when we choose to talk about heart, to what are we referring?? Well, again, we are not talking about the physical organ, but instead your capacity to feel and love. It is how much you truly care.

A lot of us choose to use only a portion of our hearts or to just let our head decide. But a wise word that I remember hearing in high school was - "The farthest distance between you and God is 18 inches... the distance between your heart and your head." I was convicted this morning in an epiphany of sorts. I discovered that I limit the love in my life. I limit love in my life, because fear or doubt or deny. I oftentimes refuse love from someone else, and in turn destroy an opportunity for love to enter a hateful world. God surrounds and drowns us in love and grace... in everything. We choose whether or not we want to accept that. It is very hard to see Christ in moments of pain or strife, because we can't sense beyond our screaming minds. Christ chose to reside in our hearts (remember: our capacity to love and feel), because of this fact we should understand that our heart is the most powerful tool we have on this earth. Beyond just a powerful love... in our hearts resides the power of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

It is actually easier for us to be naive though, right? It rids you of responsibility or guilt. If you opt out of completely accepting, then you haven't truly accepted it yet... Yes, you have denied your own true Savior. It's not about getting bits and pieces of Jesus - it's about being made whole. James talks about this in reference to laws, "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it." It is an everyday thing... an every morning thing... an every second thing. Perfection is not required. Surrender is.

I just started reading "The Hole in Our Gospel." How simple is our call? SIMPLE. There's no denying that. The thoughts in our head are complicated, not the message that God has clearly laid out for us. Love Him, and therefore love people. I say "therefore," because it is impossible to love God and not automatically and naturally begin your love and passion for humanity.

Quit living in the dream world inside your head. There's a hurting world around you begging for you to love it. Go. Live. Heart.

Kristen.