admit it, I have a lot to learn. If my mom knew how to work a computer and somehow discovered the mechanics of the internet, and then read my previous sentence, she would either be proud or would just die from shock. I have been reading this book by A.J. Jacobs called "The Year of Living Biblically." I highly recommend it... but I only referenced that book to talk about one of his other books called "Know-It-All." I have never read it, but my mom and closest friends would definitely say I wrote it. He reads the entire Encyclopedia Britannica in an effort to legitimately become a scholar-proclaimed know-it-all (as opposed to self-proclaimed). Over the past few days, I have settled back in to Spanish Fort and my usual dwelling, and frightfully enough I have too much time to think. In this case though, I feel my thinking is really paying off. With most normal people, thinking would always pay-off, but with me there is a lot of illegitimate mental activity, which leads to know-it-allism and over-thinking. In my short time back here in Spanish Fort, I have deduced that I can no longer really know ANYTHING.
In sixth months time, I have been riding a spiritual and emotional roller-coaster. Everything that should have happened didn't happen (or at least didn't happen in a timely fashion) and everything that I thought would never happen, definitely did. All that said, I have been trusting the world and people with my time and effort. God knows I learn lessons the hard way, so patience has been an on-going curriculum in my life. I could safely say that's the case for at least 90% of Americans. I JUST WANT TO KNOW!! If there are five open doors God, which one do I choose?? If there are no open doors God, do I force one open?? Is there a key?? Do you think I may have gone too far with this metaphor?? Well, you catch my drift...
Opportunities have come and gone. Some opportunities seem inviting on the outside, but with further observation, it's clear that God would not want me there. Geeeeez, so what do I do?? Wait? That word sucks. I hate waiting for my Pop-tarts to toast, let alone waiting for my life to play out. But you know what... cold Pop-tarts suck. Just think of the difference three minutes can make. Warm and ooie gooie or cold and hard. If we wait and hold out for the right moment, the right job, the right guy, everything is warm and ooie gooie... metaphorically speaking. But yeah, that involves waiting.
In times like this I always go back to this verse I found in Proverbs three years ago. The story is: I had read Proverbs about five times; I love it. But never before had this verse stuck-out to me... It was just the right day, the right time, the right mindset.
"The man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." - Proverbs 16:9
How many times have you tried to plan your own course and then shoved God aside, and said, hey let me determine those steps too. The Lord allows us the opportunity to dream and envision a life for ourselves, aka - the course. But the Lord will guide the steps. Without His guidance, we end up in briars somewhere, way away from the flock. I think it's one of Andy Stanley's sermons from Northpointe that talks about the "bypass." Yeah, awesome, it looks shorter, but God is definitely telling you to go the long way. Well, surely God wouldn't take me the long way!! I'm going to take the bypass... What happens?? You end up in traffic, there's a toll, and it takes more time and aggravation to get to the same destination. Sometimes it might be faster, but it's not less frustrating. God has YOUR best intentions in mind, never forget that.
Sadly, this mindless rambling helps me gather my thoughts... now isn't that a paradox. Continue to pray for me as I seek to find where God truly wants me. Mmmmm, warm Pop-tarts. Remember.
k10
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