I wonder who said the first goodbye?
It must have been a sad realization & process trying to figure out what to call it. Furthermore, adding that "good" to the front end of bye doesn't really make it good. Just sayin...
I truly hate goodbyes. I don't think anyone really likes them, but if I could skip ahead & miss goodbyes completely that would be great.
I wonder what it felt like for Christ? I mean, we know our lives are temporary & eventually this will end: we all have a life expectancy. BUT He came to earth knowing His purpose. Did he know when? His life must have felt like one big goodbye from the start. I WOULD BE MISERABLE. Only He could have bore that burden. But we're ever so thankful that He did.
Death is another, more tragic version of a goodbye. We already hate goodbyes & then you have to add that they will no longer be on earth. Rough news.
We were made as one body in Him. As all parts of the body work to function as a whole, we all work & function together in this life. Community. True community is never really having to say goodbye. It's meeting again in eternity on day. Not that our purpose in Heaven will be to reminisce & catch-up, but we all know it's never over & it's never really goodbye.
It's amazing that people can mean so much in such a short period of time. It's only been a year for me here at UM... & it feels like forever (in a good way)! Some of the people I've met in the past year feel more like old friends. It's amazing how God can put you in a place where He knew that would happen. Now do I know how long I will be here at this point? That might be a question for another day, or at least for February 1st (the annual signing day). For now I won't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will have worry for itself.
-Kristen
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
a lot to catch-up on
Well, life happens, & 8 months later we are here. Many changes have occurred & people have come & gone (including youth pastors). All the while, I'm primarily trying to learn how to say the word "NO." I have transitioned out & back in at youth (Spanish Fort UMC), I've taken a new position at the University of Mobile (Campus Life Coordinator), & I'm attempting to figure out where Africa fits into this whole picture. All I do is rest on the fact that He is ultimately in control. I have been wrestling with what that looks like in a practical sense...
Do we just sit & rest? Or is rest just a feeling, not a physical state? We must be moving & acting in order for things to change. I would prefer a sign in the sky, but somedays it's not that clear. God also realizes His limitations... OH WAIT HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY! He doesn't limit. If we are in line with His perfect will, anything is possible.
Now how far does that go in my situation? That remains to be seen... or not seen, because maybe God is trying to stretch me & grow my trust in Him. Not everything in life needs deciphering. Sometimes it's as easy as: trust in the Lord & carry on. Other times, the next step is as clear as mud. God moves & works in all ways; in muddy waters or in crystal clarity, He moves.
We try to squeeze God into our plans or work or life when in fact He is the foundation of it all. What is a house without a foundation? It is merely a crumbling pile of bricks, not a place to call home. I put my rest in Him alone. He is my peace, my foundation, my everything.
Lord give me diligence to be in Your word & faith to live it.
-Kristen
Do we just sit & rest? Or is rest just a feeling, not a physical state? We must be moving & acting in order for things to change. I would prefer a sign in the sky, but somedays it's not that clear. God also realizes His limitations... OH WAIT HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY! He doesn't limit. If we are in line with His perfect will, anything is possible.
Now how far does that go in my situation? That remains to be seen... or not seen, because maybe God is trying to stretch me & grow my trust in Him. Not everything in life needs deciphering. Sometimes it's as easy as: trust in the Lord & carry on. Other times, the next step is as clear as mud. God moves & works in all ways; in muddy waters or in crystal clarity, He moves.
We try to squeeze God into our plans or work or life when in fact He is the foundation of it all. What is a house without a foundation? It is merely a crumbling pile of bricks, not a place to call home. I put my rest in Him alone. He is my peace, my foundation, my everything.
Lord give me diligence to be in Your word & faith to live it.
-Kristen
Sunday, February 3, 2013
worse than death.
What's worse than death?
Watching the suffering it brings to those you love. Watching my mom suffer & struggle over the thought of her mother's passing.
To watch a heart break & be helpless to mend it is a terrible feeling. Although, I know it's a feeling that's all too familiar to God. That helpless feeling & then death. Jesus suffered & died to save us & to fulfill every covenant & prophecy, but what could God do in all of it? Simply release Him. Release Him to His purpose.
In a lot of ways I have to release my mom to her struggle & heartache. I sadly cannot take it from her, but I can be a shining light in the meantime. I can encourage & point her to Christ & true peace. Peace beyond understanding & beyond this world. We are never meant to forget people or forget pain, but we aren't meant to dwell in it. We can let those feelings of sadness & hurt propel us forward into the many things God has for us ahead. Using that energy to positively impact those that might be in the same situations & to inspire others with the sweet memories of that person's life, accomplishments & legacy of love.
I hate sitting around & just watching things happen. Just watching people feel the weight of their own burdens, but this is a lesson in patience for me. We are not able to fix the world or mend the broken hearts, only Christ can do that. I just point people in the right direction, & guide them to the light.
Sheesh, death is just a dumb thing isn't it?! God knew that, & He tried to save us from it originally. But now that it's a part of our lives, we should strive to impress the importance of eternity. The importance of loving here & now. The importance of lifting up the One who overcame it all.
-Kristen
Watching the suffering it brings to those you love. Watching my mom suffer & struggle over the thought of her mother's passing.
To watch a heart break & be helpless to mend it is a terrible feeling. Although, I know it's a feeling that's all too familiar to God. That helpless feeling & then death. Jesus suffered & died to save us & to fulfill every covenant & prophecy, but what could God do in all of it? Simply release Him. Release Him to His purpose.
In a lot of ways I have to release my mom to her struggle & heartache. I sadly cannot take it from her, but I can be a shining light in the meantime. I can encourage & point her to Christ & true peace. Peace beyond understanding & beyond this world. We are never meant to forget people or forget pain, but we aren't meant to dwell in it. We can let those feelings of sadness & hurt propel us forward into the many things God has for us ahead. Using that energy to positively impact those that might be in the same situations & to inspire others with the sweet memories of that person's life, accomplishments & legacy of love.
I hate sitting around & just watching things happen. Just watching people feel the weight of their own burdens, but this is a lesson in patience for me. We are not able to fix the world or mend the broken hearts, only Christ can do that. I just point people in the right direction, & guide them to the light.
Sheesh, death is just a dumb thing isn't it?! God knew that, & He tried to save us from it originally. But now that it's a part of our lives, we should strive to impress the importance of eternity. The importance of loving here & now. The importance of lifting up the One who overcame it all.
-Kristen
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Death & All His Friends
Death is an uncomfortable concept for all of us. Believers or nonbelievers. It was something that was never truly meant for us. God's original intent for our lives was for eternity. That's why we find death to be such a foreign concept, because it's something we'll never be used to understanding.
My grandmother was such a wonderful person, & as I thought about her life these past couple days since her death, I have been inspired & encouraged. To live a life as selflessly as she did is something any God-fearing person can only dream of. I know she wasn't one to attend church or to talk about God, but if your favorite songs are hymns, then I think that speaks a lot about the content & quality of your heart. She was always the first to support me financially in my missional endeavors, encourage me in words & bless me in letters. I never doubted her love for me or my family, but most of all, I never doubted her love for my mother. An incredible woman can only raise an incredible woman.
I love thinking of the ways I can represent my grandmother's life by the ways I choose to take care of my own family one day. I will choose to lead a life in legacy of those who have gone before me & inspired me. So many amazing women & people who have made me who I am today. God is just good like that you know. My music, my ministry, my life is a reflection of that. To know that my grandmother's last breaths were taken while listening to a song I was blessed to write for her just humbles me to my core. God works, moves, & empowers apart from our selfish human ways. And he uses our every heart song to change lives & grant perspective. I hope & pray that she will live on in my heart, my song, & my every deed.
Gran Gran, we celebrated your departure on the day of your arrival, & we will always miss you. But I know "it will only be a while." Fly with Christ.
-Kristen
My grandmother was such a wonderful person, & as I thought about her life these past couple days since her death, I have been inspired & encouraged. To live a life as selflessly as she did is something any God-fearing person can only dream of. I know she wasn't one to attend church or to talk about God, but if your favorite songs are hymns, then I think that speaks a lot about the content & quality of your heart. She was always the first to support me financially in my missional endeavors, encourage me in words & bless me in letters. I never doubted her love for me or my family, but most of all, I never doubted her love for my mother. An incredible woman can only raise an incredible woman.
I love thinking of the ways I can represent my grandmother's life by the ways I choose to take care of my own family one day. I will choose to lead a life in legacy of those who have gone before me & inspired me. So many amazing women & people who have made me who I am today. God is just good like that you know. My music, my ministry, my life is a reflection of that. To know that my grandmother's last breaths were taken while listening to a song I was blessed to write for her just humbles me to my core. God works, moves, & empowers apart from our selfish human ways. And he uses our every heart song to change lives & grant perspective. I hope & pray that she will live on in my heart, my song, & my every deed.
Gran Gran, we celebrated your departure on the day of your arrival, & we will always miss you. But I know "it will only be a while." Fly with Christ.
-Kristen
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