I feel like it would be quite cliche and awfully corny to say, "long time no write, blog people." But in this case, that is an awfully true statement. I know I did a little bit of writing while in South Africa, but overall, it's been a solid 2 years, since I've even begun to write a thoughtful blog. So considering the magnitude of information that I could disclose right now, I will just brief you on my heart and life these days... We can go from there.
I spend a lot of time working and planning to work. This is the first time in my life that I feel my work life has absolutely overtaken my personal life. I just recently told someone, "I was much more fun, before I had two jobs." Now don't get me wrong: I love both of my jobs. And I am so blessed to even have one job, let alone two. But it is easy to get tired, restless, overwhelmed, and utterly scheduled. I remember the days when I could live so free and spontaneously, but now many of my conversations claim, "I am not busy after 4:30 on Thursday and Friday, unless I am out of town." Which it's surprising how often I am out of town (sometimes voluntary, but oftentimes necessary).
So how do I deal?
Well, God of course. Duh. There I go being cliche again, but this is the most truth I've spoken to you yet. Keeping God's purpose alive and clear in my life is really the only thing that keeps me going. I am always striving for the Lord to guide my next step or always pushing and challenging myself to love harder and live fuller. Throwing myself a pity party is going to do no good for any of us. Although, flipping a table might relieve a little bit of stress (especially if it's a bunch o' tax collectors), but our goal is not to do anything for our own gain. Pity parties are selfish. It's like have an awesome birthday party, buying yourself a bunch of gifts, baking your own cake, but then inviting no one. Then you get mad at everyone for not coming. It just doesn't make sense.
Don't get caught up in what you think SHOULD be happening in your life, but instead look at what IS happening.
There is a whole life going on around you. And it's passing you by if you are focusing on the things that are NOT happening to you. Mark Twain once said, “I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” We worry about things that are not meant to be. Things that may never happen. Things that maybe we hope would happen, but in God's GOOD will for our lives, those things aren't supposed to happen. He knows best. He is FOR us and not against us. He has your best intentions in mind, whether you want to believe that or not. The more we hang on to the unknown and avoid the truth and reality of the matter, the more we get restless and lost and inherently desperate.
Desperation can open us to the many things that are against us. It can open us to the terrible things that want to creep into our souls and destroy our joy. DO NOT BE DESPERATE FOR YOUR FUTURE AND THE LIFE THAT YOU WISH YOU HAD. Instead be desperate for the Lord. Empty yourself to be filled by the Holy Spirit everyday. It isn't our life anyways, it was always His. It's on loan to us, and we are terrible at respecting our dues. If we all viewed our lives as precious beautiful items that have been borrowed, we would probably take better care. You take better care of the stuff that isn't yours...
So how do I deal? I seek.
I seek His will for my life and not my own. I follow hard after His lead and call, and I take advantage of every moment I have to bring glory to His Kingdom. It's the little things. We can find God in our every day, our every interaction, our every job, and our every location. Don't get caught up in the life YOU think the Lord has for you. Ask Him about the abundant Life He has for you, and the rest is relative.
Prayers and blessings,
Kristen
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Thursday, September 6, 2012
A River.
"Jesus says if we have received of His fullness, however small the visible measure of our lives, out of us will flow the rivers that will bless to the uttermost parts of the earth."
God rarely allows a soul to see how great a blessing He is.
A little glimpse of 'Heaven.' We've all said it. Heard it. Experienced it. Something that was so WONDERFUL & surreal that it couldn't be possibly be part of this world. In these same heavenly glimpses, we've seen awful & heartbreaking things.
When we see & experience struggle, we are more aware of God's presence in our lives. The river runs true. However seemingly terrible & miniscule our lives are, God is there in power. He is all the more able in your weakness. We see little glimpses of Heaven, miracles & absolute blessings when we are in such need. When we release ourselves to the overflow, out of it will come life & hope & purpose!
Blissfully unaware, we may experience God's blessings everyday. But very rarely does God put a label on His blessings, & when we experience it we don't know what to do. It's foreign. Impossible. Impractical. We might call it silly, because it can't be true. It's too good to be true. It's like antibodies attacking a virus, a foreign "dangerous" body. But a blessing isn't dangerous, it's miraculous. Beautiful. Glorious. It brings HOPE to a barren land, lost of love & life.
Reckless & random: the people of this world constantly search for hope, but when God reveals it to them, it can't be true. It's too GOOD to be true. Indicating that people believe only bad things should happen to them, or maybe that's all they deserve. But God is the same for all. Loving & merciful, but to follow Him means to give up old ways. To leave the dry river bed & come to the ultimate overflow.
Miracles can happen. God is beyond us. Believe & you will receive; ask & it shall be given; pray earnestly & expect to get an answer. But then FOLLOW. MOVE. It doesn't stop with a call, but with a movement. Let the river take you. Let His blessing surprise you. And hope for the day when hope isn't something you have to hope for...
-Kristen
God rarely allows a soul to see how great a blessing He is.
A little glimpse of 'Heaven.' We've all said it. Heard it. Experienced it. Something that was so WONDERFUL & surreal that it couldn't be possibly be part of this world. In these same heavenly glimpses, we've seen awful & heartbreaking things.
When we see & experience struggle, we are more aware of God's presence in our lives. The river runs true. However seemingly terrible & miniscule our lives are, God is there in power. He is all the more able in your weakness. We see little glimpses of Heaven, miracles & absolute blessings when we are in such need. When we release ourselves to the overflow, out of it will come life & hope & purpose!
Blissfully unaware, we may experience God's blessings everyday. But very rarely does God put a label on His blessings, & when we experience it we don't know what to do. It's foreign. Impossible. Impractical. We might call it silly, because it can't be true. It's too good to be true. It's like antibodies attacking a virus, a foreign "dangerous" body. But a blessing isn't dangerous, it's miraculous. Beautiful. Glorious. It brings HOPE to a barren land, lost of love & life.
Reckless & random: the people of this world constantly search for hope, but when God reveals it to them, it can't be true. It's too GOOD to be true. Indicating that people believe only bad things should happen to them, or maybe that's all they deserve. But God is the same for all. Loving & merciful, but to follow Him means to give up old ways. To leave the dry river bed & come to the ultimate overflow.
Miracles can happen. God is beyond us. Believe & you will receive; ask & it shall be given; pray earnestly & expect to get an answer. But then FOLLOW. MOVE. It doesn't stop with a call, but with a movement. Let the river take you. Let His blessing surprise you. And hope for the day when hope isn't something you have to hope for...
-Kristen
Friday, August 31, 2012
25 years.
Sometimes you wonder if you'll ever make it to a certain age, because we all know how long it felt before we reached the age 18. And then there are some ages that creep up on you out of no where... These are the ones you dread. Time flies. No matter how many times people say that, it doesn't quite sink in until you're living it out and/or until you begin to grow "old." Time becomes so much more valuable as we get older, because we realize how truly fleeting it has always been.
Maybe it's a good thing that the only human interaction I will have on my 25th birthday is with youth. Maybe God is trying to remind me of my YOUTH. 25 is not death. I'm not a child anymore, but I'm certainly not DONE. There is so much to look forward to in every day, every year, ever moment. There is so much life left to live.
On days such as "birthdays," I make the mistake of looking to the joys & definitions of joy in the world. But that's all wrong. Joy is in your heart. It's not a thing, it's a being. He is your joy, your strength, you life. Jesus is my joy. I don't need stuff or all the things that this world can offer me. That's nothing. Nothing compared to what God has in store. I don't need a party to celebrate the life God has given me. I just needed a reminder of that blessing.
"The full flood of my life is not in bodily health, not in external happenings, not in seeing God's work succeed, but in the perfect understanding of God, & in the communion with Him that Jesus Himself had." -Oswald Chambers, August 31st, "My Joy... Your Joy."
Stop being self-conscious & live the life hid with Christ!!
"Be rightly related to God, find your joy there, & out of you will flow rivers of living water."
Today is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice & be glad in it. Even if I'm a day older for it.
Happy 25th to me...
-Kristen
Maybe it's a good thing that the only human interaction I will have on my 25th birthday is with youth. Maybe God is trying to remind me of my YOUTH. 25 is not death. I'm not a child anymore, but I'm certainly not DONE. There is so much to look forward to in every day, every year, ever moment. There is so much life left to live.
On days such as "birthdays," I make the mistake of looking to the joys & definitions of joy in the world. But that's all wrong. Joy is in your heart. It's not a thing, it's a being. He is your joy, your strength, you life. Jesus is my joy. I don't need stuff or all the things that this world can offer me. That's nothing. Nothing compared to what God has in store. I don't need a party to celebrate the life God has given me. I just needed a reminder of that blessing.
"The full flood of my life is not in bodily health, not in external happenings, not in seeing God's work succeed, but in the perfect understanding of God, & in the communion with Him that Jesus Himself had." -Oswald Chambers, August 31st, "My Joy... Your Joy."
Stop being self-conscious & live the life hid with Christ!!
"Be rightly related to God, find your joy there, & out of you will flow rivers of living water."
Today is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice & be glad in it. Even if I'm a day older for it.
Happy 25th to me...
-Kristen
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Revive: The great I AM
Who am I? If I asked you right now, “Who are you?” What would you say? You might give me your name, you might tell me you’re a cheerleader, a soccer player, a musician, a daughter, a son, a Christian, fill in the blank.
…But that’s not deep enough. At the end of the day when you’ve left the judging eyes and when there’s no expectation for you to perform in a certain way, who are you? When you take off the uniform, when you put down the instrument, when you’re not at family dinner: who are you?
“Identity: the state or fact of remaining the same one or ones, as under varying aspects or conditions” (dictionary.com). Identity is who you are despite all of the variants in your life. You can “be” and do a million different things, but only one thing can truly define you. What holds your identity?
“But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”
And God said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.”
Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?”
God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.’”
God also said to Moses, “Say to the Israelites, ‘The LORD, the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you.’” (Exodus 3:11-15)
Moses was conflicted. He was given a difficult task, and he obviously doubted his ability to accomplish what God asked. His first question to God, “Who am I?” God simply answers, “I will be with you.” That is enough. Period. God knows there’s no real need apart from His power. But Moses continues, “What if they ask for a name?!” At this point, Moses was looking for any excuse to get out of his most important role. I can imagine God being pretty fed up at this point, which is why I believe He might have yelled from inside that burning bush. When I text or facebook, I use all-caps to signify raising my voice. I’m not going to claim that Moses, as the author of Exodus was trying to signify the same thing when he capitalized God’s response, but it is likely that God wanted to make this point clear.
“I AM WHO I AM.” There is no better way to define Him, because He is the defining one. He is the definition, the true identity. Everyone else is identified through and in Him. Whether we want to recognize that or not, God is our Creator. He holds our very being without us knowing it most of the time. Or maybe we do know it, but we just deny it.
We seek the things of this world to define us, because those things immediately satisfy us. They are tangible. We want to feel, touch, see. If we all had a yelling burning bush experience, then maybe we wouldn’t use our friends, sports, family, or school to define us. Maybe then we would turn away from the things that continue to hurt us. No love is like the love of our Father. It is true Love: unconditional, through and through. Not dependent on what we can do or be. It just is. God just is. Nothing can move or shake or change Him. He will always be constant, always be faithful, always be there.
So I ask this question again: “Who are you?” Will you continue to seek the fleeting things of this world to define you? Is it worth it? Is it worth the pain, when you realize that all these things will fade and fail? God is here now and He is waiting patiently for you to call on Him. He is waiting to pick you up from the Pit. He is waiting to hold you close and draw you near. Let go of all the things that you’re holding on to that keep you from holding on to God. He is here: reach out for Him.
Blessings,
Kristen
…But that’s not deep enough. At the end of the day when you’ve left the judging eyes and when there’s no expectation for you to perform in a certain way, who are you? When you take off the uniform, when you put down the instrument, when you’re not at family dinner: who are you?
“Identity: the state or fact of remaining the same one or ones, as under varying aspects or conditions” (dictionary.com). Identity is who you are despite all of the variants in your life. You can “be” and do a million different things, but only one thing can truly define you. What holds your identity?
“But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”
And God said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.”
Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?”
God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.’”
God also said to Moses, “Say to the Israelites, ‘The LORD, the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you.’” (Exodus 3:11-15)
Moses was conflicted. He was given a difficult task, and he obviously doubted his ability to accomplish what God asked. His first question to God, “Who am I?” God simply answers, “I will be with you.” That is enough. Period. God knows there’s no real need apart from His power. But Moses continues, “What if they ask for a name?!” At this point, Moses was looking for any excuse to get out of his most important role. I can imagine God being pretty fed up at this point, which is why I believe He might have yelled from inside that burning bush. When I text or facebook, I use all-caps to signify raising my voice. I’m not going to claim that Moses, as the author of Exodus was trying to signify the same thing when he capitalized God’s response, but it is likely that God wanted to make this point clear.
“I AM WHO I AM.” There is no better way to define Him, because He is the defining one. He is the definition, the true identity. Everyone else is identified through and in Him. Whether we want to recognize that or not, God is our Creator. He holds our very being without us knowing it most of the time. Or maybe we do know it, but we just deny it.
We seek the things of this world to define us, because those things immediately satisfy us. They are tangible. We want to feel, touch, see. If we all had a yelling burning bush experience, then maybe we wouldn’t use our friends, sports, family, or school to define us. Maybe then we would turn away from the things that continue to hurt us. No love is like the love of our Father. It is true Love: unconditional, through and through. Not dependent on what we can do or be. It just is. God just is. Nothing can move or shake or change Him. He will always be constant, always be faithful, always be there.
So I ask this question again: “Who are you?” Will you continue to seek the fleeting things of this world to define you? Is it worth it? Is it worth the pain, when you realize that all these things will fade and fail? God is here now and He is waiting patiently for you to call on Him. He is waiting to pick you up from the Pit. He is waiting to hold you close and draw you near. Let go of all the things that you’re holding on to that keep you from holding on to God. He is here: reach out for Him.
Blessings,
Kristen
Friday, March 23, 2012
job 38:1-11
who am i, God?
did i know?
did i see?
did i sow?
where was i, Lord?
when the light first?
when the stars shone?
when the sea burst?
why do i presume, Father?
to lay the earth’s foundation?
to know of its dimension?
to claim all of creation?
i brace myself…
…You are my joy
all that is good
my peace
all that is beautiful
my love
all that is merciful
my hope
but above all is Grace…
…above all the singing
stars & the shouting
angels, You are…
...who am i, God?
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