PCB, FL (Meltdown)

Have you ever just sat? Yes, sat. It requires patience, it requires discipline, & oftentimes it uses or requires the listening ear in you. I beg this question as I sit in the moonlight, taking in the cold, & meditate to the sound of the crashing waves. Harmony. Bliss. Heaven.

I can't help but think of life, creation. The beauty of it all. And yes, the beauty that I am accepting resides in me. I can't help but think of this past year. A seeming blur, a fleeting moment. But despite the busyness & work, God molded a new being. God likened me to Himself more than ever. Of course we will always be created in God's image, but there's a brilliance in the opportunity to grow & change every day if we just let Him in.

Gah, I can't get over the joy I feel when I am in awe of God's splendor. Darkness veils the horizon creating a vast continuous expanse between sky & sea. Eerie clouds creep across the sky, only masking the clarity of the constellations for a moment. Oh but the sounds: such power in the veritable "crashing." Where water meets land, two worlds collide. It's like the battle we have between our earthly lives & spiritual ones. A war so to speak. But no matter how hard the land tries - mountains will fall, sands will be shifted, and great canyons will be carved. God REIGNS! My prayer for this weekend is freedom. As inspiration taken from the sea, let's live unhindered by land. Push through; breakaway!

"Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life,
Is the very same voice that calls you now to rise."
                                             -Phil Wickham

We can only imagine. But no imagined thing would even come close.

Isaiah 55:8-9

Our lives can be ironically defined & understood by the unfathomable ways of God. Ponder that one for a while.

-Kristen

A bit o' my heart...

So it's really true... Reality has set in, and I discovered that I'm back in the states and back to work. I honestly had to hit the ground running. I went in to staff meeting on my day off, and decided to stick around for 2 more hours "to get some work done." What's the matter with me?! And now here I am attempting to keep myself awake at 9 pm to answer the 200 emails that I found lurking in my inbox as I returned home. Now at 9:07, I relieved myself for a minute to think... to remember.

Two days ago I was in South Africa. A lot of people talk about loving a place when they go there, but when I say love, I mean something completely different. I have never felt like I fit in, no matter where I have been. There was always something missing, someone telling me I was special, some restless feeling that wouldn't go away. This week was the first time that all those anxieties were quelled. People loved me for who I was, crazy or not. South Africa is a beautiful place, not just for its scenery, but because of the hearts of the people. Gorgeous. Beyond words, lovely.

So yes, I understand that it might be hard to live in America, especially if my heart resides in South Africa, and many a people have ruined their relationships, their opportunities, and inevitably their lives by setting their thoughts and minds in another place. But I won't make that same mistake. In another sense, there is no way that I can forget and no way that I can't miss the people, the places, the worship, the laughs, the hope, the love. God in His mysterious ways, created and ordained this opportunity. I now have clarity beyond anything I have ever experienced. It is holy.

South Africa, you hold a special place in my heart forever. And for now, jet lag is winning. Sleep is good.

-Kristen